I’ve been reading the poem that I posted last a number of times over the last few days. I find myself reading it again and again because I know there is a small piece of truth just waiting to be seen and understood. Ironically, the other reason that I’m reading the poem about patience again and again is because I have a tendency to skim-to read half-heartedly, without giving my full attention to the words dancing across my screen.
Isn’t that just how life goes? Impatiently reading the poem on patience. How perfectly human and silly.
I read the poem again tonight and one line in particular stood out, “Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.”
I love that– and I need to hear that, apparently again and again…
…accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.
That’s such a perfect way to describe where I’m at–literally suspended between a world of possibilities. And the incredible thing is that I’m ok. I know that everything will ultimately unfold in some beautiful, shocking and generally unexpected way. In the meantime I learn to accept the in-between-ness…the incomplete-ness.
I wrote a little bit about this before, right after my 25th birthday–believing, seeing, doing and becoming…it’s all a process-despite that fact that I think we already ”are” a number of things i.e. loved by god fully, holy, redeemed, creative, with abilities to heal, comfort and create. But we’re also becoming things, in a career sense, in our relationships, in our areas of expertise or our character qualities…
my hope is that i (we) will learn to appreciate the suspense, the unknowing, the time “before” –despite the fact that the “before what” is unknown…that we’ll pray or hope earnestly for patience and wisdom and eyes and hearts that are wide open to the now, the here, to the incomplete.
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October 27, 2009 at 1:55 am
[...] thinking a lot about being lost and found lately too. I’ve written about patience and being in suspense recently. I’ve been thinking about the world outside and the world inside [...]