I’ve moved to Waterloo and officially become a poor graduate student. This big change has definitely been the onset for a lot of thinking. It’s weird when it appears as though everyone in your life stays static but everything around you changes. I don’t overly enjoy change- but perhaps ironically, I love adventure. These past couple of days have felt like I have recaptured my independence a bit. I spent so much time last year learning about the importance of putting relationships and people first. I learned that we are designed to be dependent on each other. It’s interesting though, as I am realizing that independence is in some ways the other side of the same coin. Yesterday, a good friend of mine left a beautiful painting on my doorstep that she had painted. It’s a stunning piece of art and she made it for ME- it’s an abstract-ish tree with deep roots and interwoven branches. This painting reminds me of where I come from, who my people are and highlights the fact that I have a huge group of people who I love and who love me. Yet, while I am dependent on my friends and family in a non-tangible sense, I have really felt a sense of my ‘aloneness’ these past couple of days. Not alone in the bad sense of the word, but in the fact that I have to set up hydro accounts, find my way around a giant university, cook for myself, navigate through hoards of terrible paper work, find out where the nearest coffee shop is- all of these practical things. I am learning to do things on my own. And like I mentioned above, I think this is possible because I come from such a loving family (in the exteneded sense of the word).
So, here I am. In Waterloo…sitting in the student centre- watching a LOT of people walk around wearing hardhats and waving flags (weeeeird!)- and I am ok with it. I am excited/anxious/ready to see why the heck I thought it was a good idea to come here. I feel like I have chosen to go to graduate school for a reason and I feel like eventually I will understand what that reason is.
Thank God for the peace that is sometimes gifted to us. And for change and the unknown, that keeps us on our toes and ensures that we don’t think we’ve got all the answers or everything figured out.