Peace, control and not much more in between

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It’s so hard to believe it’s Friday already…especially a long-weekend friday. I’ve had a very busy week at work (which I have loved, so it’s made time fly by).

Here are a few things I’ve been thinking about this week:

1. Peace.

An old prof asked me to submit an article for a journal and being a person who does not pay close attention to detail (and because I was thrilled that he would even think to ask me, I readily agreed…without knowing all of the information. It turns out the that journal issue is based around some institutions and documents that I only had a minimal understanding of–the International Criminal Court and the UN Right to Protect document. I should say, it’s not that I didn’t understand those two things–it’s that I wasn’t sure of how to get at what that journal was seeking to examine. The journal wants to look at the traditional peace church (big C church) and understand how the church can have meaningful dialogue with these entities, that ultimately have goals- to bring peace and justice. The means by which the ICC and R2P try to bring peace and justice often use forms of force- the traditional peace church is pacifist…so you can see the problem. Anyway, I am just blabbering away here, but what I am trying to get at is that it’s really nice to have a challenge ahead of me. I have decided to write the shorter, less formal reflective piece (10-12 pgs) but so far, I am no where near ready to formulate a cohesive opinion. I’m spending time reading and researching and trying to pull my thoughts together. Peace (and justice) are complicated–especially when the means used to get there can have such ideological variation.

2. Control

I have this sad story to tell you. It’s about my office and my serious lack of radio. If you know me, or have been a long time reader of my blog, you know that I am a DIE HARD fan of CBC radio…it’s like NPR in the states. I could listen to it all day- minus 12-2pm when it’s ‘ontario today’–a show I can’t stand. Well, I don’t get CBC on my little desk radio. In fact, I don’t really get ANY stations on my radio…except…K-LITE. Yup, local, mostly BAD old music…with a few modern exceptions of course. So, I’ve taken to listening to K-LITE. Sigh. I have an iPod with somewhere around 600 songs and podcasts on it, but sometimes, I just don’t want to have control of what I’m listening to. I’d rather the “hip” DJ at 102.9 just choose the music that I’ll listen to, regardless of whether I like it or not. I think I do this not because I like bad music (that’s my friend Steep’s job) I do it because I like not having control. With my iPod I find myself searching through songs, looking  for exactly the right music…but with the radio, I just let it happen.

Control is such a funny thing- we love it and we hate it. I’ve learned that I normally REALLY like having control in my life–I like to know what’s going to come next, what’s on the horizon and so on. Matt told me yesterday that he wants to play really high level ultimate next summer in a men’s league (not a huge shocker, eh friends?) The thing is, he’s really good- talented with lots of room to grow and get better…and he loves it. My FIRST initial reaction when he told me this- was ” NOOOOO, you’ll NEVER be home” — which is a little true considering how many tournaments these teams play in the summer. I selfishly hate when Matt’s at ultimate all the time because I have to be the one to tell our friends where he is. yes, matt’s at a tournament this weekend…

In these times, I wish that I could be controlling. In fact, I think I TRY to be controlling- to say all of the things that I just mentioned above. But the fact of the matter is, that if the roles were reversed, and it was me who wanted to do something anythingat that intensity with a crazy time commitment, Matt would be the first one to say that I should do it. That’s a real lesson in humility.

So, I am trying to think of life a little bit more like K-LITE radio…sometimes songs come on that I really don’t love (“constant craving…all I want to do it make love to you…ya). But really, I find myself humming along, thinking man, this song is weeeeird and then poof, it’s over.

And if I’ve just had too much radio for one day, I can always switch to my iPod and spend time looking for the perfect song.

(photo source)

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2 thoughts on “Peace, control and not much more in between

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