lost

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no, not the t.v show (although i am a big fan!)

but lost.

you know, in general.

Lately, it seems like everyone I talk to is experiencing some sort of “lost-ness”

One friend described it to me like this ” it’s like a million doors are in front of me, but none of them are open”

Doesn’t that just say it so perfectly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about being lost and found lately too. I’ve written about patience and being in suspense recently. I’ve been thinking about the world outside and the world inside me.

Today I had a small revelation that really, you never know. Each day when you wake up is a brand new opportunity for things to go incredibly-wonderful-amazing or painfully, agonizingly awful. You just never know.

Matt told me over dinner that he thinks the “lost” feeling is generational: the result of being raised to think that you’ll have numerous careers, thus never fulling committing to anything. I’m not so sure I agree. I imagine our  “lost-ness” has more to do with a lost of identity– a removal from the very things that once made us us.

Growing our own food, touching the earth, soil-covered hands, reckless abandon, the feeling of not being tied to anything, silence, nature, simply being with…our creator, each other, ourselves.

I wonder how much of our current anxiety, our need to achieve, progress, get better, make more, have more, do more, be more is tied to our capitalist, patriarchal, consumerist society. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think working for corporation ‘x”making product “y” (which most likely involve some sort of environmental degradation and precarious labour in the majority world) is going to make us feel anything but a hamster on a wheel.

you know?

For me, finding my way is about returning to who I am–and remembering what I am; its reaffirming our worth as people..not for any particular reason, but simply because each human being had inalienable worth. We might forget this simple truth, and while we might feel lost…it’s impossible to lose our worth.

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