Since finishing my clinical placements for semester my days suddenly have a lot of give in them. Free time to use how and where I please. The pressing issues of my days have become “which day this week should I clean the bathroom?” and “when should I go to the gym?”
I’ve spent a lot of time at home in our very tiny (600ft) apartment. Writing emails, working on school work, watching internet tv (damn you, netflix!)
In the mornings, our kitchen has the most beautiful light. In the past I’ve taken taken photos of nothingness because I am so enamored with the light. When I moved in more than 4 years ago, Matt and some friends helped me to paint the bathroom, bedroom and the living area. The kitchen was a yellowy-old colour but it wasn’t toooooo bad, so we left it as-is.
Now 4 years later, and countless hours spent cooking and working at the small table we have (you can see it in all it’s greatness in the banner photo) I’ve realized that it’s time to paint the kitchen. It’s time to take off the AWFUL cupboard doors that don’t close and to sand and paint them too. It’s time.
Now, the funny thing is as much as we love living here (the location, the people, the rent, the memories!) there is a very real chance that we might have to move in the spring. This is because of the lottery system for my senior year placement which if things don’t go my way, could land me in
Timbuktu Oshawa, Sarnia or who-the-heck-knows-where.
The loosey-goosey side of me feels like I might be tempting the lottery gods- to be so bold and paint my kitchen when I could very well be leaving in 4 short months (I’m already spending March in Tanzania). The practical side of me also worries that it could be HUGE waste of time and money if we have to leave. All the work for a few measly months of enjoyment.
But the part of me that I want to grow the most, that part of me is whispering, “do it”. Not because it might anger the gods or be waste but because it is a practice of living in the right here, right now. Yoga teaches me to focus on my breath. To simply breathe in and out. My church community teaches me that if we open our eyes we can see the Goodness of God in the land of the living…right here, right now. This is all we have, folks. Any facade of control that we have is just that…a facade. So, in honouring today and in trying to better be present in the right now, we’re painting this weekend. My saintly Mom is going to help and it’s going to be a lot of work, but man I think I am going to appreciate it…and wish I had done it sooner.